What it means to take up the cross today?

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It is midterm break week at the university where I teach.

For our students, it means rest. No classes. No quizzes. A pause from deadlines.
For us lecturers, it means something else.

It is grading week. Long hours reading exam papers. Checking assignments. Making sure we are fair, careful, and kind while still being honest with our standards.

My body already felt tired before the week even started.

We had just returned from a study trip to Kampong Chhnang over the weekend. It was beautiful, meaningful, and also exhausting. The kind of tired that settles deep in your bones. We ate so much during that trip that I joked I was in a food coma. Countryside food here is different. Fresh vegetables. Simple cooking. Familiar Khmer dishes with a different touch. Food that fills both the stomach and the heart.

On Sunday, after our worship service at church, I rushed to attend a lunch invitation from my former students. They are now in their degree year. They invited me as one of their honored guests. I agreed a week earlier, so even though my body wanted rest, I went.

And I am glad I did.

They told me they missed our Communication Skills class. They said I was strict, but caring. Firm, but understanding. They said they felt seen and guided. Hearing that awakened something in me. My tired body felt alive again. My heart felt warm.

Moments like that remind me why I keep going.

Lunch Party @ Tonle Bassac
Still, by the time Monday came, my body and soul felt stretched.

So this morning was another ordinary day in Phnom Penh.

Another tuktuk ride.
Traffic moving slowly.
Dust in the air.
A soft breeze passing through.
Familiar streets that I have traveled so many times.

I sat there holding my phone, reading the day’s devotional.

And somehow, in that moving space, God met me.

The sound of the engine.
The wind on my face.
People rushing to work.
Street vendors setting up.

Everything slowed inside me.

That is when I noticed something about my heart.

I realized how often I am searching for my rights.

The right to be treated well.
The right to be understood.
The right to rest when I am tired.
The right to protect myself from being hurt.
The right to choose myself.

So much of what we hear today tells us to focus on self care. To guard our peace. To put ourselves first. To choose me, myself, and I.

And while rest and care matter, something felt off.

As I read the words of Jesus, I felt gently confronted.

Not accused.
Not condemned.
Just lovingly reminded.

Jesus never fought for His rights.

He gave them up.

He gave His time.
He gave His comfort.
He gave His reputation.
He gave His body.
He gave His life.

And quietly, deep inside, I asked,

Who am I, that I hold so tightly to mine?

This thought did not come with shame. It came with honesty. With humility. With truth.

Yes, I am walking through midlife changes.
Yes, my emotions rise without warning some days.
Yes, there are moments of tears, tiredness, and confusion.

But God reminded me that my season does not excuse my surrender.

He is still working.
He is still renewing me.
He is still patient with me.

I fail sometimes.
But grace brings me back.

I stumble.
But mercy lifts me up and helps me walk again.

The Words That Stopped Me

Jesus said,

“If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it.”

Mark 8:34 to 35

These words are simple.
But they are not easy.

Jesus does not force anyone to follow Him.

He invites.

“If any of you wants…”

Following Jesus is always a choice.

And that choice always involves surrender.

What It Means to Take Up the Cross Today

For Jesus, the cross was real wood.
Real pain.
Real suffering.

For us, the cross looks different. But it is just as real.

It is the daily choice to let go of our own way.
It is choosing obedience when it costs us comfort.
It is choosing humility when pride wants to rise.
It is choosing love when silence is harder.
It is trusting God when life feels heavy and unclear.

The cross is not about punishment.

It is about surrender.

Our world teaches us to avoid pain. To escape discomfort. To seek quick happiness.

Jesus teaches us that real life is found when we lay ourselves down.

The truth is, even if we refuse to follow Jesus, suffering still comes.
Heartache still visits.
Loss still happens.

The difference is who we walk with when it does.

A Gentle Word for Women Like Me

If you are a woman juggling many roles
If you are tired of being strong
If you are trying to stay connected to Jesus while handling life

This message is for you.

Jesus is not asking you to disappear.

He is inviting you to find life in Him.

Five Reflections from Life in Cambodia

With Practical Applications and Prayer

1. Letting Go of the Need to Be Right

Living and serving in Cambodia has taught me patience.

Culture is different.
Ways of speaking are different.
Understanding does not always come quickly.

There are moments when I want to explain myself.
Defend my intentions.
Prove my point.

But taking up my cross means letting go of the need to always be right.

Sometimes love looks like silence.
Sometimes humility speaks louder than words.

Practical Application

Before responding, pause. Ask God if this moment needs words or grace.

Prayer

Lord, teach me when to speak and when to be quiet. Help me choose love over being right.

2. Serving Even When No One Sees

Many women here serve quietly.
Mothers. Wives. Teachers. Church workers.

Much of what we do goes unnoticed.

Jesus reminds us that following Him means serving without needing applause.

Practical Application

Serve one person today without expecting anything back.

Prayer

Jesus, help me serve with joy. Remind me that You see even what others miss.

3. Choosing Faith Over Comfort

Life in Cambodia is not always convenient.
Power cuts happen.
Traffic is slow.
Heat is heavy.

Following Jesus here teaches me to release my desire for comfort.

Practical Application

When discomfort comes, whisper a prayer instead of complaining.

Prayer

God, help me trust You when life feels uncomfortable. Teach me to see You at work.

4. Surrendering Control Over My Family

As a mother, especially to a child with special needs, control feels safe.

But Jesus invites me to trust Him daily.

Practical Application

Every morning, place your family in God’s hands through prayer.

Prayer

Lord, I surrender my family to You. Help me trust You more than my fears.

5. Letting Grace Meet Me in Weakness

Some days I feel I should be stronger by now.

But taking up my cross means admitting weakness and leaning on grace.

Practical Application

End the day by thanking God for grace instead of listing failures.

Prayer

Jesus, thank You that Your grace is enough. Meet me where I am today.

Losing Life to Save It

Jesus promises that when we give up our lives for His sake, we will save them.

Not the way the world defines success.
But in a deeper way.

One day, suffering will end.
Pain will stop.
Tears will be wiped away.

Until then, we walk with Him.

We take up our cross daily.
Not alone.
Not without hope.

If you are tired, He understands.
If you are struggling, He walks beside you.
If you are unsure, He gently leads.

Choosing Jesus may cost us comfort.

But it gives us life.

Blessed week!
Tess 😅😍🙏



Location: Phnom Penh, Cambodia

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