Do you Date with the intent to marry?

I am grateful for a husband who not only cares for our family but also serves our church faithfully. Vandy is dependable to his friends and to the wider community. He may be quiet, but his life speaks loudly of faith in action.

Our 16th anniversary reminded me again of the importance of marrying with intention. For the young people and singles we minister to, we often encourage them: date with the intent to marry. Marriage is not about fleeting feelings but about building a life together under God’s guidance.

A few days ago, on September 30, my husband and I celebrated our sixteenth wedding anniversary. Sixteen years, it feels both long and short. Long because of all the stories, lessons, and memories we now carry together. Short because the days seem to have passed so quickly.

This year, our celebration was simple but very meaningful. Vandy picked me up from the university after my morning classes, and we went on a lunch date. He brought me to a steak house, a rare treat for us since we seldom go out for steak. Lately, I’ve been experiencing dizziness and fatigue due to iron deficiency, so he thought a good meal would be both thoughtful and helpful. It was such a delightful treat, not just for the food but for the gesture. What made it even more special is that the restaurant sources their meat from a local Khmer farm, practicing sustainability, something we both appreciate.

Anniversary Date@Mauu!

After lunch, we walked around the mall while waiting for the time to pick up our son, David, from school. It was just the two of us, and I realized how rare those moments have become. We laughed, we talked, and we joked about what the future might hold. At one point, I looked at Vandy with a smile and asked, “So, what are we going to do next?” We both laughed, but deep inside, I knew the question carried weight.

Sixteen years together is something to celebrate, but it is also a reminder that we are still on the journey. We are grateful for another year of marriage, and we know it is all by God’s grace. We pray we will not miss His will for us. We know there is still much to accomplish for His glory. Our hearts long to be more courageous in witnessing, more dependent on His Spirit, more intentional in living out our faith, and above all, to finish well.

That simple date, sharing steak, walking the mall, joking together was more than just an anniversary outing. It was a picture of what marriage often looks like: simple, ordinary, but made beautiful by love and God’s grace.

And as I reflected on it later, another picture came to mind, the lighthouse.

A Lighthouse by the Mekong

Have you ever stood close to a lighthouse? I have, a couple of times. In Vandy’s hometown of Kampong Cham, there is a lighthouse called Phare de Kampong Cham. To the eye, it looks like a simple pink tower near the Mekong River, standing not far from the town’s famous Kizuna Bridge. But its history tells another story.

During colonial times, the tower served as a watchtower to guard the rubber plantations. If bandits approached on the river, a fire would be lit to warn the Governor, who had a direct line of sight from his house. Restored today, it remains a symbol of watchfulness and protection.

For fishermen navigating the river at night, such a light is more than a landmark. It is a lifeline. When the waters are dark and the storms rise, the lighthouse shows the way to safety.

And that is what marriage often feels like. We are like ships sailing together, sometimes in calm waters, other times tossed by storms. In all of it, we need a light that is steady, sure, and strong. For us, that light has been Christ.

Jesus, the Light of the World

Jesus said in John 8:12, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.”

This verse has carried new meaning for me as I reflect on sixteen years of marriage. Without Jesus, we would be like ships drifting aimlessly, easily lost in the storms of life. But with Him, we are guided, protected, and led to safe harbor.

Jesus’ light is not only for our salvation; it is for our daily walk. His presence has carried us through disagreements, parenting struggles, ministry challenges, and financial pressures. His Word has guided our decisions when we felt unsure. His Spirit has warned us when pride or selfishness tried to creep in. His grace has empowered us to forgive, to start again, and to love one another in ways we could never do on our own.

Just as the lighthouse stands unshaken by the storm, Jesus has been our steady light. 

my sister Ruth made this pic collage for us!

Lessons from Sixteen Years of Marriage

Here are some lessons I’ve learned along the way, each connected to the image of the lighthouse:

1. Light is consistent, not flashy

A lighthouse does not change its purpose or shine only when it feels like it. It is steady.

My husband is much the same. He is not overly expressive with words or grand romantic gestures, but his quiet consistency is a light in my life. His presence reassures me, not because it is dramatic, but because it is faithful.

Faith in Christ works the same way. It is not about emotional highs but about the daily, steady walk with Him in prayer, Scripture, worship, forgiveness. The steady light matters more than flashes of excitement.

Prayer: Lord, help me to be faithful and steady, reflecting Your consistency in the way I love and serve others.

2. Light reveals the way

The lighthouse shows boats and ferries where to go. It points to the safe path.

In marriage, there are so many decisions to make. Over the years, Vandy’s careful discernment has been a gift. He thinks things through when I tend to be emotional. As a family, we pray before making choices, trusting God’s light to guide us.

God’s Word has been our compass. It does not always show the full journey, but it always gives light for the next step.

Prayer: Lord, thank You for Your Word that directs my path. Teach me to walk in Your light, even when I cannot see the full road ahead.

3. Light warns of danger

The lighthouse does not just guide it warns.

There have been times in our marriage when we had to warn each other of poor choices or wrong attitudes. Those conversations were not easy, but they protected us.

In the same way, God lovingly warns us through His Spirit and His Word. He shows us when we are drifting toward sin, pride, or fear. His warnings are acts of grace.

Prayer: Lord, give me a humble heart to receive correction, and courage to lovingly give it when needed. Protect me from the dangers I do not see.

4. Light is meant to be shared

A lighthouse does not shine for one ship, it shines for all.

Marriage and family are not just for our own comfort. They are meant to be a testimony. We want our marriage to point others to Christ, whether to young couples, singles, or even to our son, David, who is watching how faith works in daily life.

Our desire is for our home to be a place where Christ’s light is seen in the way we love, serve, and forgive one another.

Prayer: Lord, use our marriage and family to reflect Your light. May others see You through the way we live, and may our lives draw them closer to You.

A Call to Shine

Jesus also told His disciples in Matthew 5:14, “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.”

As followers of Christ, we are called not only to receive His light but also to shine it. That means in our homes, our workplaces, our schools, and our neighborhoods, we are to live in such a way that others see Him through us.

For our marriage, this means showing grace in disagreements, practicing forgiveness, and choosing humility. For our ministry, this means opening our home, discipling students, encouraging couples, and sharing the gospel in both word and action.

And if you are reading this and do not yet know Jesus, may I share gently: life without Him is like being lost at sea in the darkest night. You may feel strong enough to steer your own ship, but storms will come. Only the light of Christ can guide you safely home. His light not only shows the way, it saves.

Gratitude for Sixteen Years

As I look back on these sixteen years, my heart is filled with gratitude.

I am thankful for Vandy 👉for his quiet strength, his faithfulness, and the way he reflects Christ’s light in our family.

I am thankful for David 👉for the joy of parenting, and for how much we learn about God through guiding him.

I am thankful for ministry 👉for the privilege of sharing life and the gospel with young people, families, and friends here in Cambodia.

And most of all, I am thankful for God’s grace 🙏for being our lighthouse, steady and sure, through every season.

Closing Reflection

Marriage is like sailing across unpredictable waters. Some days bring calm, others bring storms. But through it all, the lighthouse stands.

For us, that lighthouse is Christ. His light has guided us for sixteen years, and we trust it will continue to guide us for the rest of our days.

Our prayer is simple: may our marriage, our family, and our ministry shine His light so that others may find their way to Him.

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
— John 8:12

Previous Posts:

😅 Celebrating our 15yr Anniversary

💚 Our Unlikely Marriage Proposal

💕 How Do You Protect your Marriage?

💞 Are Dates still Important?

Sharing the Light!

Tess 😅💓🙏