Is it Ok to be disappointed? (Part 1)
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In our household, we believe it is not only okay but also necessary to allow space for disappointment. I know this might sound unusual. For some, discouragement feels like weakness, something we should avoid or quickly cover up. But over the years, especially as young parents, we have learned that disappointments can become classrooms where faith grows, where character is shaped, and where God’s light shines brightest.
Our son David recently experienced this in a very real way through something as simple as his chocolate crinkle cookie business. What began as a small home project turned into an unexpected life lesson, not only for him but for all of us as a family.
Today, I want to share that story with you, not just as a mother but as a sister of faith who has wrestled with disappointment, failure, and God’s faithful presence. My prayer is that this story will encourage you, whether you are a parent, a student, a worker, or someone simply trying to make sense of life.
Let’s walk together through this journey and see how God’s Word truly is “a lamp for our feet and a light on our path” (Psalm 119:105).
A Tale of Two Childhoods
Before I tell you about David’s chocolate crinkles, let me share a little about where Vandy (my husband) and I came from. Because, as I’ve learned, how we parent today often has deep roots in how we were raised yesterday.
I grew up in what I would call a traditional Asian household. Discipline was a norm. I still remember the bamboo sticks, belts, cloth hangers, and even brooms that became part of our childhood. Yes, we were spanked and often. At the time, I didn’t like it at all. Who would? But looking back now, I appreciate those difficult moments. They taught me respect, self-control, and a healthy fear of disobeying my parents. More than that, I see now that discipline, though painful in the moment, was my parents’ silent way of saying, “We love you. We want the best for you.”
Vandy’s childhood was very different. His father was a quiet man, a hardworking provider, and a devoted Buddhist. He never held Vandy as a baby. He never spoke much to him or his siblings. Affection was absent, though provision was present. Life in their small stilt house by the river was about survival. Everyone had to work to eat. There wasn’t room for gentle words or tender gestures. It was about getting through the day.
When Vandy and I came together as husband and wife, we brought both these worlds with us: my upbringing of structured discipline and his background of silent endurance. By God’s grace, we are learning to blend them in raising David. Parenting isn’t easy, especially when raising a child with unique needs, but God continues to guide us each step of the way.
Parenting a Child with Unique Needs
David is our only son, and early on we realized he was different. When he was diagnosed with mild autism, we knew we needed to adjust our parenting approach. He requires extra guidance, intentional teaching, and patient love.
But we also decided from the beginning that we would raise him as normally as possible. Autism would not define him, though it would shape how we cared for him. Having one child meant he had all our attention, and sometimes that became a challenge too. To this day, we haven’t told him directly about his condition, but we pray for the right time when he is ready to understand.
Our goal is simple: to teach David life skills, to help him love God and others, and to prepare him to live with purpose. We believe God entrusted David to us for a reason, and we hope he will one day discover that reason himself.
Parenting him has shown us our own weaknesses. We fail often. We lose patience. We doubt. But God’s grace sustains us. And one of the most important lessons we’ve been learning as a family is that disappointment is not an enemy to be avoided. It is an opportunity to trust God, to ask forgiveness, to grow in humility, and to experience reconciliation.
David’s Chocolate Crinkle Business 👈
Now, let me bring you to the story that inspired this reflection.
David and I like baking, and last summer he decided to start a small business selling chocolate crinkle cookies. He had seen how his aunt Sokunthy's spaghetti was being sold successfully in in front of our home in the "borey" or community in Khmer. He thought crinkles could be sold as well. Excitedly, he set up his little venture.
But the sales didn’t go well. In fact, they failed.
David felt crushed. He was upset and discouraged. He began blaming himself for not being good enough. He even thought about giving up entirely.
One evening, when I came home, he shared with me how his dad had asked him to analyze what happened. To my surprise, David showed me a detailed diagram he had made, identifying the problems and possible improvements.
It looked like something I would see from my university students when they do SWOT analysis! I was so proud of him. I asked where he learned it, and he said, “I just thought about what happened.”
Here are some of his observations:
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Crinkles didn’t get seen. Customers only noticed spaghetti because of the big banner.
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The business was only connected to spaghetti sales, so crinkles never stood out.
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Sales were limited because most people only bought food during lunch and dinner, not all day.
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Crinkles didn’t have a name or proper presentation.
He even suggested improvements: build a kiosk, make the crinkles visible, give them a name, make it attractive for kids, and treat it like a snack or bakery product.
I was amazed. Even Vandy was surprised. I later showed the diagram to one of my colleagues at the university, and he too was impressed at how David thought through the process.
That night, as a family, we prayed together. We prayed for God’s direction in David’s little business, but more importantly, we prayed for healing in his heart. We reminded him that even big businesses face failure. The difference is that they don’t give up. They learn, they adjust, and they try again.
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| David's own analysis of his failed Chocolate Crinkle business |
The Gift of Disappointment
As parents, we are learning alongside David. Disappointments are inevitable. We cannot escape them, and neither can our children. But what we can do is help them see that disappointment is not the end. It can be the beginning of deeper faith, greater resilience, and stronger character.
Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.”
God’s Word is not like a giant floodlight showing us the entire future. Instead, it is like a small lamp lighting up just enough for the next step. That means when disappointment comes, we don’t have to see the whole road ahead. We just need to see the next step in front of us and trust that God will guide the rest.
For David, that next step was to analyze what went wrong, to pray, and to think about how to do better. For us as parents, the next step was to encourage him, to listen, and to point him back to God.
Do You Allow Your Children to Be Discouraged?
Some parents protect their children from every difficulty. They don’t want their children to be bored, disappointed, or discouraged. But in doing so, they sometimes rob them of the chance to grow.
In our home, we allow space for disappointment. We even encourage it at times. Why? Because we believe it teaches valuable lessons:
To run to God in prayer.
To ask for forgiveness when we fail.
To humble ourselves when we are wrong.
To trust God’s grace when things are hard.
To reconcile with others when relationships are strained.
These are not easy lessons, but they are necessary ones.
God’s Word, Our Lamp
Think of walking through a dark forest at night. You don’t need to see the entire path stretching for miles. You just need a lamp to guide your next step.
That’s what God’s Word does. It doesn’t remove the darkness, but it shines enough light for you to keep going.
When disappointment comes, when a plan fails, when you don’t know what to do next turn to Scripture. Let it guide your response. Let it remind you of who God is. Let it point you toward hope.
David learned this lesson through his little business. We as parents are learning it through the daily challenges of raising him. And you, too, can learn it in your own situation.
A Message for Believers and Seekers
If you are reading this as part of the faith community, I want to encourage you: do not despise disappointment. Let it press you closer to God’s Word. Let it remind you that His light is enough for your next step.
If you are reading this as someone who is not yet a believer, I want to gently say: life will bring disappointments, no matter how strong, smart, or successful you are. But there is a greater hope available. Jesus Christ, the living Word of God, came to guide us, save us, and bring us into God’s family. He is not only a lamp for your feet; He is the very light of the world.
When Crinkles Become a Lesson
David’s chocolate crinkle business didn’t succeed the way he hoped. But in God’s hands, it became more than just a failed venture. It became a lesson in resilience, humility, and faith.
As a family, we are learning that it is okay to be disappointed. It is okay to let our children feel discouraged. Because in those very moments, God’s grace meets us, His Word guides us, and His light shines on our path.
Friend, whatever disappointment you are facing today whether in your family, your work, your relationships, or your faith take heart. You don’t have to see the whole road ahead. Just take the next step in God’s light.
And remember: even when your plans crumble like cookies, God’s love remains firm.
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