7 Practical Ways to Honor Our Fathers

Still in Father's Day high celebration. I can't help but think about my own Papa as well.

I am writing this blog post today in loving memory of my papa, Rolly. 

He passed away when I was just 22 years old. To this day, I still miss him deeply. His absence is felt in the everyday moments, the family gatherings, the memories we wish we could still make. And while he is no longer with us here on earth, the legacy he left behind continues to live on in our lives and in the lives of those he served.

Papa Rolly was a man of God. He had a deep passion for the lost and a heart for the gospel. He intentionally planted a church in my mother’s hometown in Isabela (the Philippines). By the grace of God, that church is still thriving today. Many of mama’s relatives were saved, baptized, and are now active in the ministry. One of them, my niece Cielo, was even called into full-time ministry and is now the pastor of that same church. Papa saw my calling for missions early on. I know he would have been proud to see that I also followed this path.

His death was tragic. It was painful. It was sudden. Until now, we do not fully understand the real motives behind it. Officially, the police ruled his death as drowning. But further investigations showed signs that he was forcibly held, robbed, tied to his motorcycle, and thrown into a river. We left it all in God’s hands and moved to Manila to start a new chapter. As a family, we chose to forgive. It was not easy. But healing began when we gave the pain to God.

And even though Papa is gone, I know he lived a life of purpose.

Is your papa still alive?

If he is, please take this moment to pause. Think about him. When was the last time you told him you love him? When was the last time you thanked him? Sometimes we get too busy. We postpone visits, ignore messages, forget to check in. But time is short. And the opportunity to honor our fathers while they are still alive is a gift we must not take for granted.

I wish my husband Vandy and my son David had the chance to meet Papa. I know they would have enjoyed long conversations, perhaps over grilled fish or coffee. They would have shared stories about village life, ministry, and family. David would have found in him a worthy chess opponent, a basketball teammate, and a teacher in swimming. But most of all, he would have learned from a man who lived out his faith in both word and action.

Thankfully, my mama kept printed photos of him. They say I look just like him. That makes me proud.

Papa Rolly left a mark not just on me, but also on my siblings. My youngest sister Ruth became a pastor too and now serves in a rural province in Nueva Ecija alongside her husband Pastor Romnick and son Izer. My brother Jr also serves in ministry through the worship team. He plays the bass guitar and mentors young musicians in their church. He and his wife Cristina, along with their two children, are active members of a church in Taguig. All of this is the fruit of Papa’s faithfulness and love for the Lord.

Papa was a resourceful man. He could cook anything. He introduced us to sports like marathon running, taekwondo, and chess. He was a history teacher in the province, but when he had me, he decided to move to Manila for better job opportunities. Life in the 1980s was tough. Even with a college degree, finding a well-paying job was hard. In the city, he worked two jobs: one as a security guard at a powerplant, and another as a part-time office staff. Housing was free at the powerplant, so we stayed there. Yet despite his busy schedule, he made time to go to church and grow in his faith.

At the time, my mom wasn’t a believer. She had a strong Catholic background. They would attend different churches on Sundays. But Papa never stopped loving her and sharing his faith. He didn’t force her. He simply lived it out. Eventually, Mama saw the change in him and came to know Christ as her Savior too.

We moved a lot as a family, always depending on Papa’s work contracts. But one thing he insisted on was to never leave us behind. He didn’t want to be an absentee father. I appreciated that so much. He was present in our lives. He was strict but fair. Like many fathers back then, he disciplined us with a belt. But he was never harsh. He loved us.

What I remember most is how he loved my mom. Every Valentine’s Day, he would give her roses. He would also give me and my sister one too. On special occasions, he would cook for us. His specialties were coconut curried crabs, shrimp, and papaitan beef stew. He loved serving others, especially those in need of God’s love.

This is the kind of man my Papa was. He shaped the way I see leadership, love, and fatherhood. He helped form my standard in choosing a husband. And by God’s grace, I found a man like Vandy who shares many of Papa’s good traits.

Yes, I still wish I had more time with Papa. I think about the "what ifs" and sometimes tears fall. But then I remember Romans 8:28:

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

This verse has been my comfort. Even when things don’t make sense, I know God is in control.

7 Practical Ways to Show Honor to Our Fathers

1. Spend quality time – Make time for conversations, meals, or even short visits. Your presence matters more than your presents.

2. Speak words of appreciation – Say thank you. Say I love you. Say I’m proud of you.

3. Forgive past hurts – No father is perfect. Let go of old wounds. Healing starts with forgiveness.

4. Support them in their needs – Help them when they are sick, aging, or simply need someone to talk to.

5. Pray for them – Bring them before God daily. Ask the Lord to bless them, protect them, and draw them closer to Him.

6. Learn from their lives – Whether good or bad, every father has something to teach. Let their lives help you grow.

7. Speak well of them – Whether they are alive or have passed on, honor their memory with kindness and respect.

Dear friends, whether you have a good relationship with your father or a broken one, I want you to know that healing is possible. God is the healer of hearts. If your father is still alive, honor him while you can. If he has passed away, remember him with grace. If you grew up without a father, remember that your Heavenly Father is always present. He sees you, loves you, and calls you His own.

Let us live out Proverbs 3:5-6:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

May this verse guide us as we honor the fathers in our lives, forgive where needed, and love without conditions.

A Heartfelt Prayer

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for the gift of fathers. Thank You for the example of Papa Rolly and the many fathers who quietly and faithfully serve their families. Lord, help us to honor them with our words, our time, and our love. For those who grew up with pain, bring healing. For those who never knew their fathers, reveal Yourself as the perfect Father. Teach us to forgive, to love, and to cherish our loved ones while they are still here.

We trust in You with all our hearts. Lead us in the way we should go. And may we never forget to appreciate and honor our parents, knowing that every good thing comes from You.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

In memory of Papa Rolly. Your life was short, but your impact was deep. Thank you for showing us how to love God, love others, and serve with all our hearts. We love you and we will see you again.

To everyone reading this: love your fathers while you still can. Life is short. Let us not waste a single day.

Proud Papa's Girl,

Tess 💕👧😍