How to Overcome Emotions with Grace?

Our verse today in Psalm 42:11 reminds me of our compassionate God. He deals with and meets us even when we are downcast, upset, and angry. 

When David was growing up, there were many times I would explode out of my anger due to frustrations. I thank God that He has met me when I needed Him the most. 

By God’s grace, I’m still growing in the area of self-control. God is still in the process of building my character in the fruit of the Spirit. There are many times I would be caught off guard at the way I respond unlovingly toward my husband and son. Vandy would always remind me to consider people around us since my sister-in-law and her teenage son are now living with us. They are definitely seeing our lives daily. It's a challenge to respond with grace, practicing and putting into action the faith that is in us. How to reflect the goodness of God more practically? That even my son would emulate and copy.

I praise God because, though we could still sin, He is faithful and just to forgive and, by His grace, we would always ask forgiveness of one another at home. I am glad that even David would also see this and evident in our home. Forgiveness and restoration are valued.

I need God’s Holy Spirit to manage it so our son would be able to somehow see how to overcome any of these outbursts on His own pacing with God’s help.

Psalm 42:11 – "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."

Motherhood is a journey of joy and struggles. I’ve learned this over the years, raising our son David, navigating life as a pastor’s wife in Cambodia, and trying my best to reflect God’s love even when life feels overwhelming.

There were days when my emotions felt too much. Days when I snapped at my husband, Vandy, or spoke too harshly to our son David. There were nights when I felt guilty, thinking I had failed again. But in those moments, Psalm 42:11 became a lifeline – a reminder that I could turn my downcast soul to God, who is always ready to restore.

Recognizing the Struggle

One evening, I was in the kitchen, frustrated. The dishes were piling up, and David was upset about something from school. My sister-in-law and her son, who now live with us, were around, which made me more aware of my attitude. I could feel my patience slipping. Then, I raised my voice. Immediately, I felt a sting of regret.

But God met me there. I paused, took a deep breath, and whispered a prayer: "Lord, help me. I don’t want to be this way."

I went to David, hugged him, and told him I was sorry. 

Vandy gently reminded me, "We are not perfect, but we are growing."

The Power of Apology and Forgiveness

I thank God for His grace because, even in our mess, He teaches us how to love. At home, we have made it a habit to apologize when we hurt each other. And David has seen this – he has learned to say sorry, to ask for forgiveness, and to give it freely.

Motherhood isn’t about being flawless. It’s about showing our children how we rely on God, especially when we fall short. It's about teaching them that forgiveness is always available.

Learning to Manage Emotions

Psalm 42:11 speaks of a troubled soul finding hope in God. That’s what I want my son to learn that emotions are real, but they are not our master. They are part of being human, but they don’t have to control us.

Here are a few things I’m learning and still growing to practice:

1. Pause Before Responding: When emotions rise, I try to take a deep breath and pray.

2. Choose Gentle Words: I remind myself that a gentle answer can calm a situation better than a loud one.

3. Be Quick to Apologize: Whether it’s to Vandy, David, or anyone else, I want my family to know that I value peace over pride.

4. Pray for Strength: Every morning, I ask God for the fruit of the Spirit – especially self-control.

Practical Steps for Moms Who Struggle with Emotions

1. Create a Prayer Corner: A small space in your home where you can pause and pray when overwhelmed.

2. Practice Breathing Exercises: Slow, deep breaths can calm your mind.

3. Model Forgiveness: Show your children that saying sorry is not a sign of weakness but of strength.

4. Memorize Scriptures Like Psalm 42:11: Let God’s Word be your source of strength.

A Simple Prayer

"Dear Lord, 

Thank You for Your endless patience with me. Help me to show the same grace to my family. When my emotions overwhelm me, remind me to put my hope in You. Teach me to speak with love, to listen with patience, and to model Your forgiveness. I surrender my emotions to You. 

In Jesus’ name, Amen."

You Are Not Alone

If you have ever felt like you were failing, know that you are not alone. Even as a pastor’s wife, I struggle. But I also know that God is patient with us, leading us, growing us.

Remember, motherhood is not about perfection – it’s about progress. Keep trusting, keep trying, and keep putting your hope in God. Your children are watching, not for a perfect mom, but for a mom who relies on a perfect God.

Serving in Cambodia,

Tess 💓😅😍